Conversations & Discussions in Japan and the World

CULTURE & LANGUAGE

Conversations & Discussions
in Japan and the World

May 2026  ·  Living in Japan


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Growing up in Lyon (France), conversations were loud and overlapping. Disagreeing with someone at the dinner table wasn't rude, it was almost expected. My mom was always comparing me to a famous French politician because I am not scared to politely step up in a discussion if I disagree with someone, to give my own opinion. So when I arrived in Japan a few months ago, I quickly realised that the way people talk here follows a completely different set of unwritten rules.

In France, a good conversation often means a lively debate. Personally, I love discussing hobbies, current events, and life goals, topics that reveal who someone really is beneath the surface. I think of it the way Roland Barthes described language in Mythologies: every exchange carries a deeper layer of meaning, shaped by culture. In Japan, I've noticed that this "deeper layer" is often left unspoken.

JAPANESE CONCEPT
Tatemae
Public face — what one presents to others
JAPANESE CONCEPT
Honne
True feelings — what one actually thinks or wants

This means that what someone says and what they actually think can be two very different things. For a French person, this is both fascinating and, at times, genuinely uncomfortable. One of the things I find hardest in conversations here is not knowing what someone is actually thinking, or when eye contact fades and I can't read the room anymore.

"Culture is communication, and much of it happens beyond words."
— Edward T. Hall, The Silent Language

That said, I'd rather feel excited than hurt when someone disagrees with me. Interestingly, Japan has challenged me to find that excitement in subtler forms. Being interrupted back home was annoying; here, the silence that replaces it can feel just as loud.

What strikes me most is that neither culture is "better" at conversation, they're just solving different problems. France prizes verbal sparring as a sign of respect; Japan prizes harmony as a sign of care. Living between both has made me a more attentive listener, and honestly, a little more comfortable with silence.

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REFERENCES

  • Roland Barthes, Mythologies (1957)
  • Edward T. Hall, The Silent Language (1959)
Written from Higashiosaka, Japan

Commentaires

  1. Annika1 juin 2026 à 23:19

    a very interesting blog! i gained better understanding of French culture

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